You Are Enough

So many people feel derailed and disconnected from their lives. I know all about this. During the years when my health was at its worst and I wasn't working outside the home, I recall attending parties and being asked "What do you do for a living?" 

I had no job and no children, and the question seemed to be: “What have you done with your life--what do you have to show for yourself?” I stumbled over my answer. Nothing shuts down a conversation like, "Oh, I'm not working right now. I'm dealing with some health issues." Then they'd ask if I had kids. Another "nope" from me and we were often done talking. That sucked. 

I felt judged, ashamed, and unsure how to represent who I am. People couldn't easily label and categorize me by my career or as a mother. So, I seemed nebulous to them...and to myself at times. 

Without labels to apply to myself, I struggled with feelings of vulnerability and inadequacy. I felt unseen and dismissed. And now that I've had those experiences, I use what I learned to help others.

That starts with almost never asking someone what they do for a living the moment I meet them. While our careers are often an extension of who we are, it's not the most interesting part of a person to me. Perhaps that's because I know some people loathe their jobs and don't want to talk about them. I don't want to label people by their job, even if they love it. 

I help others who struggle with their labels. I remind them that they are WORTHY. They are LOVED. They have VALUE. Job or no job. Kids or no kids. Health or no health.

My belief is this: just the fact that you exist is good enough. You are enough. Labels protect us from feeling vulnerable, they protect us from derision, but they're often something we hide behind. I honor the work you do to make money and/or the tremendous work of raising children. But I also know you're more than your labels.