It’s Time to Let Go of Being the Good Girl

Like many, I was raised to be good. A good girl, a good student, a good friend, a good employee...and on and on. But, who decides what is good? Whose standards was I living up to? How was I hiding parts of myself in pursuit of being seen as good? 

After decades of trying to be "good" I now ask myself: What do I really believe? Which beliefs are actually my own, and what parts have been instilled in me by my family, my culture, my religion, or society as a whole? Do these beliefs still serve me? 

These are uncomfortable questions, but they lead to the realization that you don't have to be the Good Girl in order to be a Good Person. Elizabeth Gilbert wrote that in her book City of Girls and it affirmed what I knew deep down. 

(While the work I do is not necessarily gender or age specific, I do speak from my own experience as a former girl and current woman.)

I'm shedding my own Good Girl constraints. Sometimes, that means boldly and bluntly telling people what I think, even if I know they won't like it. Or like me for it. It's dressing the way I want, exploring topics outside the religion I was raised in, opening my mind and heart to things I was told were bad. It's letting "curse" words fly when they accurately express how I'm feeling. And questioning who the hell decided certain words were curses in the first place. It's being a grown-ass woman, instead of a good girl. 

I continue to do this essential work of self-love, self-awareness, and empowerment. I give others the same permission I've given myself; it's ok to question beliefs and constraints they were raised with, no matter what area of life this impacts. My clients can speak honestly about what they're struggling with, examining, or figuring out for the first time.